what is wrong with you??

its so sad that you want me to fail
you want to stereotype me into being the average woman
a bitch??
characteristics of which you've YET to see
disrespectful??
what respect do you deserve?
i damn near hate you
i hate your ways and everything you think you are
man of God my ass
Christianity is my religious background but you wont dare see me PRANCING around claiming
Jesus is my savior, he has my back, i walk in righteousness, when,
im doing wrong and have a lot to get right in my life
Im not here to point out your flaws but dont degrade me when
I AM A PRODUCT OF YOUR PARENTING
I KNOW, who i am and what makes me, & its definitely not YOU
i've learned and observed the world around me for myself
The things you claim to have taught me?, you contradict everyday!
I consider myself well behaved and responsible of my actions
i deal with my flaws, insecurities and problems on my own.
You are not here to hold my hand and i dont expect you to be.
holding others above me who you KNOW have too much going on to be considered better than me
I am so distraught with anger THAT I CANT SEEM TO LET PEOPLE, WHO I REALLY CARE FOR, IN AND HEAL WOUNDS, YOU'VE PUNCTURED YEEAARS AGO.
damaged as a child, trying to grow as an adult, is tough and makes me so rough
that i feel uncomfortable expressing my femininity .
Try as you might i will not let you bring me into your misery, i am stronger than that.
I understand that you hurt. But im not willing to help you.
When you push me away and purposefully dont give a damn, and drag my name through the dirt,. AS FAMILY.??
Fk that.
I dont need you.
Don't feel free to use me.

unquestionable

i am soooo trying to figure this out
at times i know i rant on and on about myself, the things within my possesion and family
i get it
SELF_CENTERED
its a phase, it will be over soon i promise
but what IS shocking is that i dont open up??

(whhhuuuttt? ? ? ?) . . . . .----> (i know right?)

its just, there are certain ppl. .certain things/ways/emotions/times. . tht just UUUGGHHH
make you a different person okay.
make it okay to keep it in
maybe not make it okay to keep it in but make it easy not to feel anything but happee
its a plus because ur always happee but a negative seeing tht something serious might have JUST happened and yo ass over there skinnin and grinnin. .<<----doubt i'd ever be fully like tht but
anywho i hope you get what im trying to say

wish i could just stand you in front of me RIGHT NOW and just let it all out
but thts the problem again. .
would i really,  . .REALLY do that, have the balls

for such an aggressive person you make me fall back into an ease so simply its ridiculous

mmmmmmmmmmh!!!!!!!!!!!

enough said

yo ho ho &a bottle of rummm

these past few weeks have been as great of an adventure as this previous summer
i love my crew man

there's a new addition to the crew and a subtracted friendship
everything has balanced out as the new semester at GSU is arriving soon
some of us have shipped off but for those of us who still remain. .idk wat awaits
life is so rewarding wen you appreciate all the ups and downs, turns and twists tht build your strength and character

ive learned to simmer down my anger a bit
i think what ive really had bottled up as anger, was really just pain
i keep my smile tho, or at least i try

i have friends who i consider family, closer than any relative other than mommy
they understand me, make mee soooo happe man
make me cry wen they leave and jump when they return
keep me grounded and sane

i love those guys!!!!