ohemmgeewiz. .

so, patience is a virtue.

tht quote alone has brought so much joy and anxiety into my life

but on the positive side, it's brought the joy tht helps me cope w/my anxiety

its gonna take a minute for me to fully get over it but im tryin. .

i need to make a lot better decisions in my life. .

better decisions help make your life so simple,

the sad thing is i cause all my mishaps against myself.

im just happier about the simple things. .

im happier man

thats all i can say for now

(=

talk real. .

if you ever see this,
i like you.
straight up with no doubts.
wellll, maybe one. .
the one where i feel you dont feel the same.
maybe its my imagination.
maybe its true.
until you let me know.


. .let it be honest
and let it be thorough.

sigh

i'm at that point where i've given the advice so much, that i don't know what to do myself
i wanna move forward but i'm soo hesitant
if only people could read thoughts
or at least if you could read mine. .

for better or worse. .

i dont know why i try to keeeep adjusting my attitude, my emotions and personality
to fit my friends
fuck tht
i always try to be humble at first but tht shit aint workin
i really wanna curse niggas out i be so upset
i see some dont care so why should i?
always tryna be a good friend?. . . .smh
fuck tht cuz i been loyal n somma deez niggas , yes, NIGGAS
screw me over n make me feel shitty all the time
im not holdin my tongue
and my intention is not to harm or hurt
its simply to feel the way i want

holiday cheer

this christmas break i am not getting my hopes up
im just gonna smooth sail and keep it fresh
as in no sadness
i wanna enjoy my friends and family
even writing this i feel hesitant to the things i wanna scream aloud. . sigh
anywho
i hope evryone studies hard and passes all their finals!

happee holidays

the cool

mr lupe fiasco.

.its all a state of being
.something you can't attain
..well, maybe
.but reality is
.dont look for it, try to be it, want it
.it aint nike
.u cant just do it

.. . .

,anyhoo

.ive learned to let it go and gro
.rome wasn't built in a day
.just let me think of myself

ms india arie.
.get it together

"one shot to your heart without breakin your skin"
                             . . . .

a dream. .

where is that person
that makes me feel happy no matter the situation
who can comfort me in a time of need like this
the moments i wish to cry and release all my frustrations
lift this unbearable weight of guilt, pain, anger, and solitaire.
being alone never hurt anyone too bad
but its always nice to have that one person
who can make your world a better place after just one hug
the one who wont lie to you
and when they are honest, eases it to you
or gives it to you how you need it best

that person that finds something so difficult about you
but tries, gets through it for you
is there and holds it down
and when things are better, lets you float and dream on
that person that fully allows you to be you (rare)
and who you share the comfort of silence with
not because there's nothing to say
but because you want to enjoy the quality time and vibes between you two
when you want to let each other in and surround yourselves with one another
feel warm and . . ( in love)
i'm not looking for love
just hoping it finds me when its ready
so that when it is i can express how i can take care of it
ready to run that extra mile when times make you weak
ready to withstand the storm, pain, and ignorance that comes with a bond so strong
that nothing on earth would stand a chance
ready to fly when moments are made for joy, and you become so lifted
and ready to give in when its hard to admit i was wrong
given the chance i hope i make the right decision(s)
and should i not,
i hope you're there to correct me before its too late

what a dream

. . .

out of everything that could make me angry
calling me selfish, lazy, or stupid is something you WON'T do
i give myself to all those who take me in
im not the creme de la creme of givers but i do what i can to help
you get under my skin with these false accusations
the sole reason of my frustrations and negativity
i wish for everything i could replace you
who is "you"?
YOU are the person that offends me
YOU are the person that aims to anger me
YOU are the person who cares less if and/or how you hurt me
YOU are the reason i fill my life with sighs, tears and headaches!!!
i HATE YOU
hate is a powerful word and i used it correctly
eat THAT, matter of fact, CHOKE and KILL OVER on it

i want to throw a tantrum
break everything of yours in sight
hurt you the best way i can
to show you how YOU've made me feel my entire life
i suffer from continuous rage and mixed emotions because of YOU
[you haven't even seen angry yet]
this is only frustration
if i were angry u wouldn't have a blog about YOU
only broken vessels beneath the skin from the impact of my fist making contact with. your. face.
fuck YOU
you're worthless to me

:):

soooo, really.
hurry so. .
i can kiss you, hug you.
hopefully.
make me smile, and vice versa.

questions. .

even though you know the Lord is listenin and sees all
who do you talk to 
when you're not willing to open up
or talk to the big man upstairs.
it sounds weird but its. .. UGGGHHH!!!!
i know crying wouldnt help so why should i!!!
a hug??
maybe some moral support?
maybe mother's love im misssin. . .smh what am i to do
i miss him and her
procrastination, damnit
happiness, bliiss, love??
where is love!
not, to be in love
but love that makes you whole
makes you happy.. makes you feel ok 
when everything seems to fall apart.
where is THAT love..
all these ppl around and i never felt so
secluded and to myself.
my struggles bring my emotions to a pivotal pit.
the ultimate low
and i never wanted to sit and stay here so badly before
CUT OFF THE WORLD and feel alone.  

life can be just as prittie.. . 

it all depends on how you groom the soil,

the seeds you use,

and how often you make sure that little bit of sunlight is seen 

everyday.

my crew

In the beginning. . .

it was me and my janugit. .we ride or dies

sooner than later, it was like this. .

plus another. .

Then we were WHOLE. . .

and it continued. . 

but, we added just  one  more. . 

and we were family. .  (:

did everything together. .

but then, one of of had to leave for a bit. . 

and it changed the game. .. .

worries. . .

when you draw the picture, i'll fill it in. .im sorta lost right now, where the ph*** is my pen, so you can lay it out, tell me bout, wats goin on, no need to lie about, scream or shout, just tell me wats wrong. .wats the deal???

your prop. . .sike

i dont know what has happened. but i give a damn about me. battling my flaws everyday now i accept me. the conceited but caring. the lover and cuddler. the shy and quiet. the unsure. its me and i give two fucks what people have thought about me. i let that power consume me and take advantage of my life. ppl can tell you a thousand times to let it go, be you, do you. ..but its ultimately up until that day. that day you take the final straw. i love friendship but if its time for you to release me, by all means dont keep me straggling. do what it takes to cut that phuckin cord man. this is a testament for me and we'll see how long it last.

i guess it ssuits me. .

happiness. .

how come every time i think nothing is going to happen, the worst abrupts. and when i know nothing is going to come up, peace evolves?

get it out. .

why are the things you feel soooo strongly about, and mean the most to you to get out, are the hardest things to say?? i been feelin like i need to say this (somethin simple) (and nno its not i love you) for weeks now. But im afraid of. .. . . .. idk, not hearing it back?? or worse, hearing the opposite. [sigh]

It Dont Have to Change

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq4HqByCzpo&feature=related for some reason i just really like the way THEY sung it. . . la la la